Fuck this shit. Im dealing the fucking world falling on my shoulders. I deal with my problems on my own cause no one needs more to deal with. And I dont need to dump anything. But I vent into writing because it is the lesser of the evils my mind reverts to.

I swear I start to think about this fucking world, this country, this state, this county, this town, this fucking house and my pulse goes from calm to machine gun. I dont feel like a psycho anymore, I dont care about being civil. I dont go to places I know idiots will get in my way. I dont hold anything back, and that scares people, cause they cant do what I do, they cant let it out. Their bounderies of socitity keep them from being who they are in their heads and the fact that Iam pisses them off. Well fuck you, fuck you for killing yourself slowly just to fit it. Ill be who Iam, and I hope you rot.

Just watch, Im goin to school to get my 50+ hours in whatever and Im going to the academy then Ill finish at the top in everything cause I wont let myself settle for anything less. Then Ill be in peace. Ill have my own place the first day. Im only looking forward to that day, that I finally find my place.

You fucking kids in college else where talking about how hard it is make me sick. Your parents paid for you to be there, they love you. Mine split up and didnt give a shit about college for me. Ive been working 3 to 4 jobs and fighting in compitions every week to save up money, pay bills, and keep my girl happy.

And yes my girl is my little ray of sunshine. but I doubt she is going to be here forever and thats not her fault and its not my wish but its just the way things are, people change.The time I have with her is the time Iam blessed to have. And Iam proud to have it. She doesnt know a fifth of this, or how hard it is.